Best/Worst

To continue the rundown of 2007's greatest hits and misses, I give you the top shows, as judged by Bohemigrant's theater and entertainment editors:

1. La Vie (Spiegeltent)
2. Fuerzabruta
3. The Seafarer
4. The Farnsworth Invention

Worst attraction: Bodies (read an anatomy textbook instead)

Happy New Year Weekend Everyone!

Now watch this baby say "truck."

Man Bites Dog

The story of 2007!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071228/tc_nm/dating_dc

Wonderful Tragedy

Something struck Bohemigrant the other day: like it or not, the Holocaust is chiefly responsible for keeping mainstream Judaism alive into the 21st century. Ironically, if not for Hitler's pesky little plans to wipe the Jewish people off the face of the Earth, the partially successful mission resulted in the kind of Jewish resurgence the world had never known. Without the WWII genocide, the German reform movement that engulfed much of European Jewry in the 19th and early 20th centuries would surely be whittling away synagogue attendance through social assimilation and liberal political mobility. The Orthodox (as they surely still will) would become the stewards of the Jewish tradition.

Instead, the impossible to ignore (thanks to mass media and the Jews' growing political power) massacre effected the most unintended and unprecedented of consequences: A Jewish state drawn up overnight and mandated by world powers. A Jewry wielding the (temporary) power of guilt that, along with their rapidly expanding geopolitical and economic capital, gave it strong sway over the foreign policy of the world's greatest superpower. The Jews effectively came under the protection of the toughest kid on the street (or the world's greatest bully, according to some). Without the Holocaust, God's chosen might still be, in a relative sense, "sucking their paws" as the Russians say.

Why is this important? Secular and reform Ashkenazi Jews, the ones threatening assimilation over half or more of the race, are the ones with the talent, success, the cachet. The Orthodox, more often than not, are the poor students, the nuisances, the radical extremists. How long would a group of bearded yokels dressed, as a friend of the blog might say, like 17th-century Lithuanian nobility, be able to effectively lobby a government for protection from the vicissitudes of Jewish existence? What pride would they inspire beyond the undistinguished pride of faith? Would there be a Jewish state? A Jewish army? The keepers of the Torah, like the Hassidic anti-Zionists smooching Iran's president, are more concerned with breeding and eschewing pork than they are with preserving the dignity and legacy of an ancient people.

Rootless, survival becomes a goal, not a source of pride. Today, we build museums to commemorate our resilience. We honor fallen heroes and celebrate our victories. Thousands of years into human existence, we are still God's chosen people. And we have the Holocaust to thank for it.

Russian New Year's Special

Russia, You've Arrived

music fobbery

this has been an exhausting semester and year for me, so i can't really say anything conclusive or comprehensive about the year in music. anyway, here are some of the albums i enjoyed the most this yr (no particular order):

okkervil river: the stage names (best track: unless it's kicks)
radiohead: in rainbows (best track: videotape)
the national: boxer (best track: fake empire)
arcade fire: neon bible (best track: intervention)
lcd soundsystem: sound of silver (best track: new york i love you)
the ponys: turn the lights out (best track: double vision)
beirut: the flying cup club (best track: nantes)
sunset rubdown: random spirit lover (best track: for the pier (and dead shimmering))
spoon: ga ga ga ga ga (best track: the underdog)

and here are some trax i really enjoyed (not off of any of the aforementioned albums):

voxtrot: blood red blood
aesop rock: none shall pass
pharoahe monch: desire
electrelane: to the east
los campesinos!: you! me! dancing!
frog eyes: bushels
cajun dance party: the next untouchable
menomena: muscle 'n flo
les savy fav: the year before the year 2000
misha: summersend
fiery furnaces: my egyptian grammar
white rabbits: the plot

Vox Populis

Social commentators often unfit to comment socially often overstate the case against modern crowds. Are we duller, dumber, less demanding than previous generations? Or are we sharper, savvier, more critical? Watching the end of No Country for Old Men the other night, one could hear the groan from the full house enjoying I Am Legend across the megaplex.

Harp as I might on the banalities of herd mentality and the LCD. I'd rather focus on the tragedy of low expectations. Now, we all know what a reliable majority of the small audience (who earned points by even coming to a showing of the Coen brothers flick at the blockbuster-driven UA theater) wanted at the end, despite all logic and faith to adapted text: the cleanest, tidiest ending possible to make up for 2 hours of disturbing, unapologetic violence. As the genre shift from noir to western back to noir jerked the audience back and forth, they became that desperate gambler trying to break the ball in a spinning roulette wheel away from the force of inevitability to land on a single number.

After all, they invested a long time in coming to this rarefied movie--not the crime caper or quirky comedy the Coens have been known to make in the past--certainly not the zombie flick or CGI fantasy their friends had opted for. They even sat through the slow pacing, the drag of the dialog, all the way through the unsatisfying conclusion, all the while getting their wads ready to blow at the payoff point. But it never came...at least not in the way they expected.

With the modern gimmickry of the last decade and a half, audiences have gotten used to slick editing, narrative shifts, and all manner of twists. How is it that these audiences still expect the most prosaic coup de grace in a movie whose mood and trajectory, enigmatic as it might be, has been firmly established in the first act? Vin Diesel and The Rock are expected to come through and annihilate their enemies. We usually know that Mel Gibson will stick a flagpole through a Redcoat's windpipe at the end of a revolutionary revenge epic. Yet how can we expect the same in a movie whose stakes, if not higher, at the very least like on a different emotional plane. Never mind that--give us payoff or give us death!

All my dreams revolve around eating

I don't get it, I usually don't have very lucid dreams. For a long time, I barely had dreams where anything happened at all. But lately in all of my dreams, I'm always about to eat a huge meal, craving a huge meal, or somewhere with a lot of potential to have a huge meal. As an SF vagrant (and old running joke) might say, "what does it all meeeeann?" Do I want to become a super fatass? Am I unfulfilled? Do I not eat enough? WHAT IS MY SUBCONSCIOUS TRYING TO TELL ME? I'M SO CONFUSED I MIGHT WATCH ELF AND THEN OLD SCHOOL.

Eastern Medicine

Wouldn't you have to be mad to run against One Russia?

not you too Ron Villone!

As a Yankee fan I'm obligated to comment on the Mitchell Report.
(Or the REDSOX version of what happened in the last two decades REPORT)

20 million dollars for 20 former Yankees. Though only ONE true Yankee was on the List (and I'm not talking about Ron Villone).
As many of you know George Mitchell is a Share holder in the Redsox. What you don't know is he sleeps in Redsox pj's too, often massaging the back of John Henry. Why is it that the only people he could get to talk were a former Yankees trainer and former Met's clubhouse boy.
What about David Ortiz's comments last year. "I used to buy a protein shake in my country. I don't do that anymore because they don't have the approval for that here, so I know that, so I'm off buying things at the GNC back in the Dominican (Republic). But it can happen anytime, it can happen. I don't know. I don't know if I drank something in my youth, not knowing it." LIKELY! take a look at his pictures from when he was with the twins. Was that Eddie Griffin or ORTIZ?
I think the pressure got to Mitchell and he knew he had to put some names in there to spice it up. The report had no substance, there was weak evidence and he tried to mask that with Clemens and 80 something other names. As much as I enjoy seeing the Rich shamed, I'd rather it be fair.

A Work of Fiction

We met at Park Bar after a brief exchange on Match. She was quirky and cute, just my everyday type, the perfect quick date. The dark bar struck the the right balance of pretension and conviviality. In a New York minute, I grabbed two seats vacated by financial types (hard to isolate—the bar’s full of them). Checking my phone for texts, I scanned the room, making sure I knew where the hot girls to keep my eyes from straying.

Inadvertently eavesdropping on an Aussie’s Myth of Origin and other ex-pats’ bland tales of world travel, I awaited my date. She arrived shortly after I did, looking cute as a button in the I-just-got-out-of-college-and-have-the-acne-to-prove-it way. We slipped fairly comfortably into a fairly predictable line of questioning. Another Jew from the South. Always fascinating.

It was a half-hour into our chat when something was afoul. Now, I’d been eating free food pretty much from the time I’d entered the office shortly after 9, when I polished off several pastries, till sometime around 6:30, when I was sinking my gluttonous teeth into a bag of Chinese fish snacks. In between were several sandwiches, wraps, salad, and fruit. And some more pastries.

Back at Park Bar, there was no doubt—something foul was in the air, and it wasn’t the usual: snobbery or liquored-up fratboys. With swift sangfroid and aplomb, I calmly continued the conversation. Until a Senegalese immigrant ordering a drink over our heads shouted, “Who sprung dat leak, man?” Only two suspects. Deciding not to cop to the charge, I hung my head—in my mind, anyway. On the outside, I was cool as a flatulent cucumber.

Truly, what could I do? The popular middle-school option of blaming an anonymous loser was closed to me—lest I wanted to open the possibility that my date was the culprit. Apologize? It’d be more acceptable to confess to a murder at that point. I had no recourse—so I kept sipping my glass of California Pinot and playing twenty questions with my companion.

Then, just as I thought her confidence had been restored, I smelled it again! Are you fucking kidding me? I asked my gastrointestinal tract. This time, a more sportsmanlike yuppie stood, extending money over my head in exchange for brews, keeping the mockery to a polite chuckle. But the damage was done. Fart once, shame on your oblivious ass. Fart twice, shame on you, asshole!

Looking at the clock, I decided to call it a night and save the poor girl from the burden of courteously lingering. I even walked her home to her West Village domicile. I figured we could both use the fresh air.

Stickin' It to the Man

Take that, Airport Security! Not a drop spilled, atta boy!

Back to Pinot

The 2006 Chalone was a steal on sale for $13. Lots of cherry and sweet, ripe fruit with a legitimately medium body and hints of spice. Doesn't linger on the palate, but has all the velvety, fruity character you expect of a good Pinot. 92

O'Donnell Raging Again

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/mark-finkelstein/2007/12/08/larry-odonnells-anti-mormon-rant-demented-racist-pro-slavery-crazy

Boy Who Cried Adolph

It strikes me that in the wake of all the political hand-wrangling and self-congratulation over the nuke report, the real winner is Ahmadinejad--not because he's been acquitted--but because we've lost trust no matter what we say next. No one actually know how far along they are, but does anyone doubt the regime's intent to harness nuclear energy for purposes other than lighting the Jewish minority's electric menorahs during Hanukkah?

Courage

Some of you may be following the campaign trail. Last week, Mitt Romney made an ostensibly ballsy speech defending his Mormon faith, the "faith of his fathers." What is so courageous about stating that you follow the same faith your father indoctrinated you into, the same faith your father's father indoctrinated him with? Never mind the merit and tenets of the Mormon faith. I find little courage in being born into tradition you don't question. Those who find or lose faith, based on life experience, scrutiny, and personal choice, can sometimes be considered courageous. Is Bohemigrant courageous for not renouncing his ethnic background?

Politics by the Fat Man

Does anyone else find the drastic difference in Huckabee's before and after hilarious?

Music

I know you're all really here to see whyduck's Best-of-Music list, but here's my early shortlist for 2007:

1. The National - Boxer
2. Fiery Furnaces - Widow City
3. The Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
4. Voxtrot - Blood Red Blood
5. Radiohead - In Rainbows
   

Build-a-Bear, You're on Notice!

Faux Grace

In another example of how absurd placating PETA can be, there's this pate-ntly insincere attempt to create "guilt-free" liver spread. Now that they're no longer being force-fed to harvest fois gras, the birds are sure to be lining up to donate their own livers to the noble effort. Ducks and geese could not be reached for comment.