the POST

Once in a while the New York Post offers up a gem. (hey soldiers die every day but how often do you get three celebrity hoes together in a car right?) Hoes before prose today.

sexiest man

George Clooney IS Rocky Dennis.


ps. i promise to never show pictures of people barfing, only pictures causing you to barf.

Yassas!

As promised, Bohemigrant II is moving shop to ancient Greece for a week. Please direct all queries/complaints to my homey Bohemigrant I. Part of my weeklong assignment will be cross-cultural comparisons of native Greeks to the American diaspora.

Michael Richards Goes Crazy

Michael Richards doing his best impression of a Grand Wizard cum Chris Rock on crack. Who said there's no life after Seinfeld?

youtube

bohemigrant I, bohemigrant II and progeria boy have been rehearsing a youtube broadcast. Wait for it!
in the mean time , vomit.

Spare No Effort

In the midst of the OJ Comeback Tour furor, it's worth mentioning that one of Bohemigrant's own was once considered (albeit preliminarily) for a supporting role in Judith Regan's fire-and-brimstone editorial office, assisting the Princess of Darkness herself. Whatever regrets/bad blood may have existed post-rejection, should dissipate with the public lashing she will endure for the remainder of 2006 (as the cash registers ring to the tune of James Frey's iPod playlist).

PC Fratboys

Exclusive footage from a hidden webcam at Phi Delta Theta; or, as I like to call it, the coolest frat on the CU campus.

Opa!

Only 4 more days till Bohemigrant II temporarily
bohemigrates to this stunning locale.

Gotta Have It

Bohemigrant paparazzi catch up to gaming enthusiast Duke Nobbins in New York's hip Union Square. DukeNobbins enjoying his interim handheld Play Station, moments before breaking our cameraman's jaw whilst jostling for position, and chucking the PSP at an elderly Jewish passerby complaining about the campers' inability to "share the sidewalk.

Guidos in Cabo

Italian Americans representing abroad. (Put out an APB on India House Ed.)

Highfalutin Editors on the Offensive

Looks like Iran's Maureen Dowds and Paul Krugmans have gone Juan Cole/Ward Churchill over their chances in finishing off Israel, which appears to be 50% destroyed at Bohemigrant press time. More backwash from the Dems' rout? Ahmadinejad nepotizing nephews into Kehyan's editorial offices? Now that they are taking a more strident stand on the ole' Israel-annihilation platform, will they "bring it on"? Stay tuned for more bluster...

World's Smallest Violin

Ah, poor Carpathian gypsies hoodwinked again. By a Kazakh Jew, who else?

"These people are poor and they were tricked by people more intelligent than us," he said. "They took one of our 75-year-old ladies, put huge silicone breasts on her and said she was 47. Another man they filmed to look like the poorest person in the world, and one of our men who is missing an arm had a plastic sex toy taped to his stump."

Rage in the New Year

If you haven't heard yet, you better ask somebody. Better yet, check out Rage Central for all the info on Miami 2006. SoCo is about to get hotter than a Brooklyn banya. Changes for the 2006/07 rage include: salsa, Red State hospitality, Cubans, and girlfriends. So bring your swimsuit, dad's credit card, and propensity for moderate to heavy raging! (New ragers always welcome.)

Mets Shiti field

The mets may have signed a deal with citigroup.
The new stadium will be called shittiefield.
http://www.newsday.com/sports/baseball/mets/ny-spstadium1111,0,1997391.story?track=rss

gino the guido

It's Guido week on Bohemigrant, so post your best guido-related material. I apologize for this clip, which is more grotesque than anything.

The Immigrant Feminist

For whatever reason, the Polish Borat story got me thinking about Russian (and perhaps, Russian-Jewish) women again. That's right, the prototype for successful, complete women everywhere. I challenge you to find a group of ladies that can better balance professional careers, maternity, home economics and management, and self-maintenance. That's right, a Russian woman in America is capable of juggling a 9-7 job, 2 kids, a 3-course dinner featuring homemade borscht, and still have time to get that pedicure and bikini wax. I'm not being facetious--I really believe these women don't get the respect they deserve. This is to you, ladies, if one of you should ever stumble upon this page!

booyah!

Some music for ya'll to digest the news of the k-fed britney breakup that no one cares about. Ah hillybilly love. It's the un Reese/Ryan marriage. But hollywood celebs don't stay together these days., I remember the days when the ugliest man alive billy joel could stay married to a hottie like christy brinkley for over a decade. Unfortunitly that union created the billy joel daughter, with the looks of billy and the brains of christy.

Leniency for Hussein

So by now we all know Saddam will be hanged (not hung, mind you) sometime in the next 3 months. Sound about right? Amnesty International, naturally, disagrees, citing procedural irrgularities. So far so good. Now the EU is decrying the sentence due to the implementation of capital punishment. What happened to cultural and moral relativity, boys and girls? Oh, alright, I'm being a little glib. Personally, I never really saw the philosophical problem in hanging, electrocuting, guillotining, or shooting a convicted mass murderer. Mainly because I feel vengeance, the only real subjective factor in making the case for or against, is a legitimate justification. The case is closed and shut on Saddam--unless some bombshell contradicts everything we think we know about this guy. People interviewed by the BBC (heh) expressed satisfaction at the conviction but winced at the hanging sentence. Alright, so the white graphic artist at Times Sq. doesn't like the idea of an icky, medieval punishment. What about the thousands of Kurds who were gassed, or the Shiites who were brutalized and imprisoned, their families raped and murdered? Do they feel the same? Would you?

wow creepy

God says bang a manwhore and your kids will be creepy looking too.
don't look too close, he'll eat your soul.

Egolitarian Ethos

What is the last time you have opened up the pages of the L, New York Press, TimeOut, New York, The Voice…and not been met with some derisive mention of the so-called “B&T crowd”? Chances are, you’re leafing through the pages of a mag right now, whilst on the shitter, scanning through some caustic commentary; or, perhaps a fawning review of the latest trendy fusion brasserie, or admiring the latest avant-garde music venue that was formerly a Polish sausage-stuffing plant; and skipping over those gratuitous, seemingly harmless mentions of the ubiquitous New York “Bridge and Tunnel” gang.

Well, haters, your reign of unchecked hating’s over! Here’s one irate ex-Soviet who has just completed his last complementary Berlitz language tape, and he’s not amused. No longer content to watch from the sidelines, and armed with acid tongue and command of subjunctive mood and subordinate clause, I charge valiantly forth as a field marshal with a score to settle!

It seems you can’t turn any which way these days and not hear disparaging remarks about the guidos and guido-wannabes who, come TGIF time, shun scant homespun alternatives and flock to downtown Manhattan on the weekends. They come from all bridges, and all tunnels: Nassau County, Brooklyn, Queens, (Bronx?), perhaps Westchester, Connecticut, Staten Island, and—that most dreaded of all provinces put upon God’s green earth—Jersey. Although the particular peccadilloes of America’s worst social offenders are rarely identified anymore (explanations are the bane of Generation Irony), one imagines thick gold chains, tight Armani Exchange shirts (Juicy Couture for ladies), and gobs of gelled, spiky hair as prime social offenders.

Cross me off the list of “outer borough” champions. Forests of spiky hair and shirt collar boners send me into intense convulsions on a weekly basis. Put me on the list of hipster-assailants and anti-transplant bushwhackers. What I hate, and have always hated, is the unwarranted social elitism of people who believe that New York City starts in Prospect Park (if they’re feeling generous) and ends at 125th Street. So what if Chelsea from Chelsea, who chooses to spent her leftover rent money husband-fishing in the Meatpacking District, is forced to brush shoulders with Joey from Jersey, who likes to spend his credit on flashy rims and ecstasy? I thought that was the beauty of living in a real, diverse, cosmopolitan city?

Troops of the B&T brigade are often the scion of hardworking parents—first, second, third generation immigrants—the people who built this city, provided infrastructure for Duvet, Balthazar, and Bowery Ballroom. Yet Alex Trustfund and Sally Artstudent turn their noses at anyone who dares take more than 3 trains stops—or worse, a gas-guzzling automobile, into “New York” to violate the sanctity of their Saturday night.

So—yeah, perhaps the workaday crowd of Mikeys, Nickeys, and Igors likes to wind down at a fratboy bar or get down on a Eurotrashy dance floor lined with coke residue and flavored prophylactics. Maybe they opt for car shows and Rangers games over the latest fecal installation at Galapagos. Does that make them any less objectionable than you? Any less important? These are the guys who will rent you the Ft. Greene fixer-upper you’ll be sharing with four unemployed roommates, move your parents’ trust fund stocks into low-risk stocks, and handle your personal injury/divorce settlements ten years from now. What have YOU done for THEM lately?

When hipsters make their annual pilgrimage to Coney Island, converging on the holy Siren Fest stages, they tend to disregard bordering Brighton Beach, a neighborhood with much more flavor than nostalgia-heavy remnants of the soon-to-be-dismantled Coney Island boardwalk. These are people who (with a few, talented exceptions) move to New York to soak up some mystical mist, to drink from the broken fountain of inspiration, to lend authenticity to their extended visitation; tourists come to observe the austerity of those they will soon displace from yet another former hood. Yet they miss the forest for the trees.

Not that I’m complaining—the yuppification of downtown Brooklyn and the hipsterfication of the warehouse districts on the river have given me more culinary, bacchanalian, and musical reasons to escape from the cultural wasteland of southern Brooklyn… So where was I? Oh yeah: I’ll take FOBs over snobs any day… At least, that’s what I was trying to get at…

LAME!

yahoo article on sean combs wanting to play james bond

"Diddy says he wants to be the first black James Bond. The rap star put himself forward for the role at the MTV Europe Music Awards in Copenhagen last night."

Will someone please put this male Paris Hilton retard out of our misery. Please.