Watch Out, Yeltsin Dance

As scripted as this probably is, it is still track-stoppingly disturbing.

And I Quote

"I would give the greatest sunset in the world for one sight of New York's skyline."
- Ayn Rand The Fountainhead

You know, I'm starting to think Ayn Rand was on crack

Their Eyes Were Looking Elsewhere

He coughs, hacking up spittle, blood, and phlegm, followed by meager lunch of lettuce sandwich or granola bar. The contents pour, like truck drum’s wet cement, into a sky-blue duffle bag. The woman left of him abandons ship. The duffle filled, he goes to work on tote. Then, like a line of dominoes they fall—the student flees, shopper slithers—they scatter all about the train. Now chokes on stench of odorless indifference. Looks up, extends a limb, his arm defiant, hand in plea. He claps his hands, his bearings got. But the demon takes hold. He hacks again, and now a woman speaks, offering indistinct advice. “When I get home, I will be fine,” he smiles. The woman gone, he hacks again, and claps. He hacks and claps, claps and hacks. Three claps, one hack. And on and on. He mutters something to himself—who else—a mental notch unto his brain. He looks across, then to his right. What, no one wants a show? But there is no one left to see… Except for me… But all I do is look.

this is the 80's

mr miyagi never sounded so good.

Gripe

Why does Western, and in particular, European, media interpret Jewish dissent on Zionism and lack of Arab dissent as some tacit proof of Arab moral highground? Why should it not, instead, be seen as the noble offshoot of democracy, humanism, freedom?

a hard days' night of the living dead

and look for the bohemigrant's comic , coming soon!

Is Your Baby Gay?

Well, is it?

Rage-i-con

For reference on upcoming rages, the following bits are expected to be performed:

-Snake husband
-Creative one-line renditions of Simpsons satirizing Married with Children
-Duke Nobbins as the Fonz (in the works)
-Frank Rich parodies

more to come...

Local Boy Makes Good

So, as skeptical and deeply bitter I am whenever a new Russo-American author is spit out of the literary hype-machine, I must say, The Russian Debutante's Handbook delivers. Taut, funny, and confidently vivid, it achieves the highly sought-after blurb status of being "eminently readable." Is it the great Russian-American novel? No, but it is a huge step in the right direction. Of course, I am biased.

Captain, Wherefore Art Thou?

With the recent assassination of Captain America, we are left to wonder? Who will reconciliate the stars and the stripes, the reds and the blues? Time to spring Hitler from his tomb and resuscitate that comic!

Cinematic Subsidies

I get the feeling that without state-financed films (read: British film industry) and, more importantly, any ole' historical film or show (most recently, Rome) requiring a faux-foreign accent, British actors would be out of work or defecting to the States in droves. This is in no way an original observation, but what up wit da all-purpose English accent, yo? And if American twang is considered ever so crude for mass consumption, be we playing Romans, Egyptians, or Armenians, will there ever come a time that levee's gonna break? Kudos to Mel Gibson for his earnest stabs at lingustic authenticity--whatever their enabler's subtext!

What's That Name Again?

Hat tip to Duke Nobbins on this misnomered YouTube video title. It's Bernie Mac meets Fat Joe.

Bigger Man

What's up with assholes at the gym cutting the cardio machine line from the opposite flank and then pretending to have been waiting? OK, the dumbshit kids will give me a retarded stare and then yield the stairmaster. It's really sad when a middle-aged, Russian (inevitably) FOB pretends to have been waiting for the machine and not seen me (ah, the scheming fucking Russians)--always the same, lame excuse. "Vat is your point?" he asks, and I really wanted to knock my point in his wily little mug. But the heavily accented chick next to us kindly informed us the machine wasn't working. Fighting over broken equipment. Aye, there's the rub.

The Sudden Jerk

We read our books and Polish newspapers, stare at our PDAs, fix our eyeliner, lips, and blush, enjoy frivolous phone calls on the mobile, snap voyeur photos of camel toes, expose ourselves, talk into our lapels, run scams for money, perform mariachi music and minstrel acrobatics, lament our workaday anomie, marinade in our apathy, grunt passive-aggressively when lightly brushed by others...and then...the B train takea a sharp turn for the Manhattan Bridge, sending us all flying into each other, if only for a measly second; molecules spontaneously colliding in a container sealed by resignation and routine. And then, like a momentary power interruption, we return to our previously staked positions, acting as cool as humanly possible.

mandom.

friends, would you like to smell like charles bronson?

Worse Than a JetBlue Delay

Airline service just keeps floundering.

How Far Will a Monkey Go?

Ah, the infamous bathroom monkey. At this time, there is no word as to the illness of the monkey's tongue.

East Meets West

With my copious bags of fruits and veggies covering the express check-out counter, two jolly dudes behind me shared the following exchange:

"...M&Ms man, you know?
"Yeah, what about them?"
"Rememeber that promotion a few years back? Find the--"
"--Find the gray M&M and you win a million dollars. Yeah, yeah, nice scam."
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I found the gray M&M, man."
"Sure you did."
"I swear man, I found it. Gray--no mistake, I remember it. All the others were red and yellow...Not that one, man, gray."
"So what'd you do?"
"I ate it."
"No shit."
"Can you believe it? I ate the damn thing, the million-dollar M&M. I only read about the prize later."

I looked over my shoulder as the demure, acned Turkish girl bagged the last of my groceries. I couldn't tell which of the two was the M&M gobbler. They both looked pretty damn well content.

Le Bureau

Both of us are fans of THE office.
here's the french version. their pam/dawn is pretty hot, and their michael/brent is more alcoholic father looking.

http://www.fanpop.com/spots/the-office-%2528us%2529/links/18598