Missed Connection

You were the slightly cross-eyed, mustachioed matron dispensing earthy wisdom and home remedies for yeast infection. I was the bearded guy in a shapeless IZOD shirt from SYMS ordering cold cuts for the first time. Your colleague winced in disgust when I asked her to slice me a pound of salami. I made an off-color joke about sausage I’d overheard at work but mangled it. She got offended but you chuckled while weighing 200 g of black caviar for an important-looking man with a Bluetooth handset. I asked if the cottage cheese was fresh, but you didn’t hear me. You wiped off some herring slime on your hairnet and left for a smoke break. I had my Food Stamp card shredded at the register, distracting me from the question, Should I, shouldn’t I? I should. Better late than never.

two ha ha's

where is my super suit?

Mike Tyson