The Death of Newspapers

So, does anyone besides Times editors actually read these puffy essays? This is beyond yuppy, guys, seriously.

Words Matter

On March 18, 2008, Barak Obama delivered one of the great speeches on race, or any topic, in our nation's history. It's not unlikely that this speech will be remembered for years, perhaps even decades or longer as one of the defining political sermons of my generation. It is arguably so merited as to join the annals of great American oratory in the Library of Congress. (Take that, Mitt Romney's tour de force on Mormonism!)

Far be it for me to assail a man of Obama's background and credentials for taking the name of African Americans in vain. Yet the elegance, zeal, and, no doubt, sincerity, of his speech notwithstanding, what gives Obama the racial capital to mitigate Black Liberation Theology or pontificate on slavery's acrimonious legacy? Especially when he has far more credibility as a race-less candidate or, indeed, a Hawaiian one.

Honor System

Granted, I wouldn't be a fan of this thing myself, but how can the AFL-CIO or any other hack labor group defend outdated work-clocking? It's not really creepy unless you consider someone who makes sure you carry out the duties outlined in your job contract as creepy, right? Are they against the means or the idea of oversight? If oversight itself is creepy, why don't we just switch to an honor system, since all of these workers are clearly enamored of their jobs and willing to log extra hours for their labor of love.

radio lab

http://blogs.wnyc.org/radiolab/2008/03/23/sound-off-was-radiolab-out-of-line/

public radio wars!

In response

In response to the last post about Bill Richardson's latest look. I'll try to clear a few things up. 

The Richardson tan. It is well known that Bill Richardson is half Mexican what is not well known is that his other half, is also Mexican. (Smigel line) 

The new beard is his stylist's response to his bloated corpse like chin. A beard line is no replacement for jaw line but is much more effective than walking around like this.

(joe lieberman)

Senor Richardson

What's up with Bill Richardson looking like a cartel runner from south of the border? Those Hollywood tans and that Rio Grande coyote beard are some serious upgrades over his relatively pale, puffy-cheeked look. Is he running for VP of the USA or Chair of the Sinaloa Cartel?

You Don't Know Symbol Dynamics? Fuck YOU!

Here is a man who gives hope to all of us non-Bretts still struggling to solve the star puzzle...

About That Monkey Wedding

Another propitious simian match made in India. But isn't it time we let monkeys be agents of their own fate, and choose their own mate? If we truly come from these noble creatures, what better way to honor them?

Good thing this was the one game that wasn't nationally televised

Well congrats to the Cornell basketball team on a great season and all, but all I really wanted was to not look like the worst team in the entire tournament. Too bad about that.

See My Vest

Cloning technology may not quite be there yet, but you can reunite with Fido or Rover today--or at least have him keep you warm through the cold, lonely winters. Too bad I didn't cryo-freeze my long-dead parakeets. They'd have made some nice safari hats.

Snoop Song

Everybody go out and get this OG's memoir. It's the real, yo. Straight cheese.

obama sold out his white grandma

I thought the Obama speech on race was very good. But my fellow Americans from Hannity's America seemed to disagree. My favorite caller said "we can't trust a man who would sell out his grandmother like that, Sean!"

Preview

A taste of things to come: Reverend Jeremiah, monkey weddings, a new story, and why Sinbad matters...

TGIF

In the corporate (or even average office) world, Friday is frequently cited as an excuse for any misstep, slip of the tongue, faux pas, or questionable action. While predominantly displayed among the lower rungs of the officer hierarchy, you're guaranteed to hear "It's Friday" at some point during your 9-to-5 (or 8-to-12) adventure from the lips of a superior. From botched water cooler refills to faulty customer service to negligent machine operators, the much sought-after day is something of a wild card, a panacea and Get out of Jail Card for any offense committed on the clock. If you're putting off risky, unadvised work activities, Friday is your day. Spilled coffee all over your coworker, scalding her and blotching her cashmere cardigan? "It's Friday!" Let out a racist quip in the presence of a sensitive coworker? "There I go again!" After all, you've been working hard all week, counting down the days so you can wrap yourself in the casual quilt of a lay-z-day. Ice Cube and Chris Tucker were right.

Utah Loosens Up

The state that brought you polygamy and Orrin Hatch is finally seeing the light on booze restrictions. Wait, no, they're not. Certainly a group of Mormon lawmakers who presumably have never touched the stuff are the best arbiters of mixology. Did no one think of bringing in frat consultants from Arizona or Colorado?

Harvard Sucks

For once, Cornell played Harvard, it was a big deal and it wasn't on ice. Who knew that Cornellians could storm a court with zero previous experience in doing so? The only question remains is whether the bandwagon stays filled after the inevitable first-round drubbing in the tournament.