For roughly a month after I got back from Israel, my office served as nothing more than a Mac-based environment for receiving JDate and Match alerts as well as Facebook pokes while getting paid. Two months removed from my Jewish reawakening, my work commitment is barely more intense as I continue to "mail it in." Probably not the definition of the ambitious mensch those frauleins are ransacking the NY dating scene trying to grab. And what do I do it for? Mediocre dates, trite interrogations over drinks, jaded girls too afraid to show their emotional cards? And some of my best material wasted on this half-appreciative audience. Sure, there are a few nice chicks sandwiched here and there. And I may not be the smooth Lothario I fancy myself to be every time out. But is it too much to ask that a girl not immediately assume that I'm the spiritual brother of the last 10 J-clicks she's gotten drinks or dinner with?
Then there are the dispiriting times I assume every girl worth knowing is either taken or halfway across the world volunteering for Peace Corps or building an oil rig in Riyadh. These are the times a boozehound hits the bottle, while I drown myself in the desperate folly of indiscriminate emails and flirts...
tbc
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Ranting and Okenshield's Raving
(I want to put out the standard disclaimer towards anyone out there that may read this and be concerned about my mental health: I'm fine, just disgruntled about various idiocies, mostly my own.)
You would think that a semester in which I helped out in writing my first grant and got my first journal article accepted (in addition to being published in a humor anthology coming to a B&N bargain bin near you--LOL!) would be cause for me to be "excited" about my progress as a graduate student and human being in general. Think again!
Since I am assisting in writing grants and such, a perceptive reader might infer that the only way I actually receive money to buy takeout Chinese and large coffees is through being a teaching assistant. But of course, most of you knew that already--this is the dumb shit I've been doing the last year plus, without much eventfulness, aside from the fact that I wasn't entirely terrible at it.
Unfortunately for me, in the less than two months of the current school year, teaching (or teacher-assisting) has gone from something I have to do to something I despise exponentially more than Will Ferrell, Willie Randolph, and dance parties combined. Why? Well, as luck would have it, I was assigned (by default) to a first-semester graduate course of roughly 40 students. Now I had taken the course before but as it was "under transition," I became vastly underqualified to be the TA for it. Meaning all the material is completely different (i.e., stuff that I had barely learned well) and the professor had to put everything for the course together from scratch. Which basically means, that I had to put a shitload together from scratch. So in addition to grading all the homework, holding office hours, and handling all the stupid e-mails, I have to write up all the solutions and do all the homework in half the time that students did. And since the course's textbook has no solution manual, and is generally a worthless collection of paper, I am essentially taking this dumbass course as a TA for no credit, and am subject to much embarrassment during office hours.
So now roughly 90% of my time is taken up by something which I get no credit for (besides the measly pay and the hatred of students) and which has nothing to do with getting me the hell out of grad school. And the reason why I couldn't instead be spending roughly 10 minutes a week as a TA and earning the semi-appreciation of annoying undergrads? Because some stupid rule says that people with bachelor's degrees must take the class that is killing me--even know-it-all students who bug me over every last point deduction on HWs and who come to office hours to nitpick stupid shit rather than out of confusion.
And I just can't help getting beyond salty upon realizing that people who finished as undergrads one, two, three, hell even four years after I did will be finish a PhD before I ever do. I can't even make the excuse that I worked before going back to school, all I have is wasting two years realizing how horribly inadequate my undergraduate education was and how much harder I should have worked before I became a grad student. But it's all good, really. At least I'm not making six figures somewhere or something in some awful place like NYC.
You would think that a semester in which I helped out in writing my first grant and got my first journal article accepted (in addition to being published in a humor anthology coming to a B&N bargain bin near you--LOL!) would be cause for me to be "excited" about my progress as a graduate student and human being in general. Think again!
Since I am assisting in writing grants and such, a perceptive reader might infer that the only way I actually receive money to buy takeout Chinese and large coffees is through being a teaching assistant. But of course, most of you knew that already--this is the dumb shit I've been doing the last year plus, without much eventfulness, aside from the fact that I wasn't entirely terrible at it.
Unfortunately for me, in the less than two months of the current school year, teaching (or teacher-assisting) has gone from something I have to do to something I despise exponentially more than Will Ferrell, Willie Randolph, and dance parties combined. Why? Well, as luck would have it, I was assigned (by default) to a first-semester graduate course of roughly 40 students. Now I had taken the course before but as it was "under transition," I became vastly underqualified to be the TA for it. Meaning all the material is completely different (i.e., stuff that I had barely learned well) and the professor had to put everything for the course together from scratch. Which basically means, that I had to put a shitload together from scratch. So in addition to grading all the homework, holding office hours, and handling all the stupid e-mails, I have to write up all the solutions and do all the homework in half the time that students did. And since the course's textbook has no solution manual, and is generally a worthless collection of paper, I am essentially taking this dumbass course as a TA for no credit, and am subject to much embarrassment during office hours.
So now roughly 90% of my time is taken up by something which I get no credit for (besides the measly pay and the hatred of students) and which has nothing to do with getting me the hell out of grad school. And the reason why I couldn't instead be spending roughly 10 minutes a week as a TA and earning the semi-appreciation of annoying undergrads? Because some stupid rule says that people with bachelor's degrees must take the class that is killing me--even know-it-all students who bug me over every last point deduction on HWs and who come to office hours to nitpick stupid shit rather than out of confusion.
And I just can't help getting beyond salty upon realizing that people who finished as undergrads one, two, three, hell even four years after I did will be finish a PhD before I ever do. I can't even make the excuse that I worked before going back to school, all I have is wasting two years realizing how horribly inadequate my undergraduate education was and how much harder I should have worked before I became a grad student. But it's all good, really. At least I'm not making six figures somewhere or something in some awful place like NYC.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
The Case Against Science
Any article relying heavily on a 1960s adaptation of Time Machine's gets my attention. Now that we know what happens we can start planning accordingly. Gee, I wonder where my future scion will land on the genetic map 100,000 years from now. I feel for them, assuming girls on JDate in the distant future still won't look for ugly, Morlock-like goblins. Fucking Eloi!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
J-Date Blog
Many of you have been clamoring for Part II of the wildly popular J-Date Chronicles. While that's in the oven, let me whet your appetite with some brief periodic updates. This just in: Urban Planner supplants Teacher for most popular J-Girl profession! Sustainable development or burst!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
When Commie Nazis Attack
Bohemigrant wrecked his brain trying to find an overarching theme connecting these sundry protesters. Then it hit him: none of them have a shred of fashion sense!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Date Me: A 2-Part Bohemigrant Special
Help me. I’ve got a problem…. Mencken said there were 2 things that ruin a writer: women and drink. As an evolved, 21st-century man I take issue with the former (though a dash of truth is undeniable), and readily admit the latter. Contemporary life offers many vices besides: the Internet, video games, pornography and, of course, the classics remain: gambling, sex, and drugs. To date, we can’t resist temptation’s soothing hold. Compulsions, addictions, and bad habits will survive the corrosion of the ozone and the Rapture.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
It Was Racist...or Sexist...Well, It Was Somethin', You Ignorant-Ass Hoes!
Hat tip for Duke Bloggins for still receiving Daily Sun alerts on his DukeBerry. Ridiculousness from the Ivy Belt. Why I'd never!
Saturday, October 06, 2007
George W. Dobkin
Ah, a perfect bohemigrant moment. Sit back and enjoy the Mayor of Kharkov, Ukraine, display his rhetorical prowess.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
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